Performance Management
Conflict Management and Resolution (I)
What is the Conflict and why it becomes? What are results of the conflict? How to respond to the conflict?
Posted: Nov 2008
Conflict is the result of clashes between incompatible attitudes, principles or goals. Its impact can be positive or negative. The cause of the conflict can be anything that makes some activity. Parties can conflict about the goal of the activity, about means necessary to achieve goal, about values and morale of the goal, about facts and conclusion, or even a style of reaching the goal.
Why conflicts appear? Conflict can appear because many reasons and motivation. It is in the human nature to observe, conclude and create attitudes. But we all do observation of our surrounding, making conclusion and building attitudes in different way. Once people with different attitudes meet, they may have different view to some situation. Everybody is having his/her own opinion about resolution of some problem. In that situation conflicts appear as normal reaction to different attitudes. It is natural reaction to different views and perspectives.
When you point a finger to someone, be aware that you are pointing 3 fingers to yourself.
It is the truth that the conflict will occur in any group of the people. Even a discussion between close friends about hobby or meal that they all like can be a cause for small conflict. Anyway, conflicts can be managed. Conflicts can build relationships. Conflict can also be a motivator for a change.
Tools to overcome conflict
Attack the problem, not the person.
Focus on what can be done, not on what can't be done.
Encourage different points of view and honest dialogue.
Express your feelings in a way that does not blame.
Accept ownership for your part of the problem.
Listen to understand the other person's point of view before giving your own.
Show respect for the other person's point of view.
Solve the problem while building the relationship.
When you find yourself in the conflict, try to open effective discussion that will clarify current situation. Try to be open to other's opinions. Develop ideas, your own and the other's.
Stay focused on reaching resolution, instead having endless arguing. Use positive ideas and transfer them into actions. Do not forget to close discussion and to summaries what has been agreed.
Remember: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.” Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics.
